Transmuting Pain into Power
transmutation |ˌtransmyo͞oˈtāSHən, ˌtranz-|
the action of changing or the state of being changed into another form.
I feel like over the past few weeks of my life I took a deep dive into the abyss of pain as I allowed every hurt, trauma, soul rupture and childhood scar to rise to the surface of my life for evaluation. Usually, I could run from it, numb it or hide it in some way but the universe wouldn’t allow that to happen this time. I had to see it, face off with it and feel the weight of all of it.
I felt like I wanted to die on many occasions during these past few weeks. I had triggers that came up through people in my life that I loved that caused soul ruptures so painful all I wanted to do was sink into the abyss. Each fracture took me deeper into a childhood core belief system that was set up to protect me in a dysfunctional home. Every trigger was designed by the universe to make me face my false-self that I may re-write my subconscious thinking into my truest most authentic self.
I have to admit I didn’t know what was happening to me at the time. All I saw was darkness, and all I could feel was the pain. It seemed that everything around me continued to trigger my old abandonment, rejection, and loss themes of growing up in a dysfunctional home. Each person that came around me during this time of darkness was designed to push me deeper into the abyss of this theme until I could heal. I felt the core of my soul screaming out against the injustice of all the weight of this pain and fighting back deep within me. I could not describe to anyone what was happening to me. I couldn’t verbalize what was taking place deep within the core of my soul, but I did know that something deep within me was trying to heal and correct itself from the rut I had lived into all my life. These core belief systems needed to be challenged and this transmutation had to take place.
Face it Feel it
The first step of transmuting pain into power is to allow yourself to feel your emotions. I am a counselor, spiritual healer, and an empathic being. I don’t despise my childhood because it created me to do the work I am doing today. However, my childhood false-self needed to be challenged that I may grow into a better version of myself. I cannot walk others through the darkness of their pain until I can first walk through my own, and I cannot transmute the pain into power until I first see that there is value in the experience of it. And the first step of walking through it is to acknowledge what is there and feel it fully.
Pick up your jewels
The second step of transmuting the pain into power is recognizing that no experience should be left on the ground. There is a lesson in everything that ever hurt me. It may be my defiance, but I refuse to not get something out of whatever bothered me. I am looking to either gain some type of lesson from it or find strength and resilience from it. I refuse to leave the jewels of the experience on the ground and walk away empty. I honestly didn’t know how I was going to come out of the heartache of these past few weeks or so, but something broke last night and whatever I was going through released me. I prayed, fasted, meditated and continued to do my healing work but I could not get out of the pain until it had done its job in me. And this morning when I felt a release I decided I needed to write about it. This experience taught me something about erasing old childhood negative tapes. These are the tapes that play over and over again as we continue to invite the same type of experiences in our lives time and time again until we heal. These are the limiting beliefs that govern our lives that have a groove so deep in the hardware of our minds that something like this dark night of the soul I just experience has to shake us out of it literally. I wanted out of that limiting belief, but the way out of something that deep is to go through it until the pain and regular healing work brought me safely to the other side of it.
Don’t sit on it, share it.
The final step in transmuting pain into power in my humble opinion is to share the lesson of it. Each time I take a hit and come out of it, I try to find a way to give something away. Each time I give something away I rise a little higher in consciousness. I grow, I elevate when I share my experience strength and hope with someone else. In essence, once I have filled myself with the fullness of my experience, I share the overflow of that experience to others that I may be able to produce more. Hopefully a dark night of the soul as thick as the one I just came out of doesn’t have to repeat itself like that again, but there are enough jewels for a lifetime of lessons that can be shared once I survive something that deep and painful. Just sitting here and being able to create this blog after weeks of being in such pain that my creativity was stuck, is a gift to me. As I pour out these words to give to someone who may read this, my load gets lighter, and my soul flies a bit higher. I feel her emerge from the abyss into the sunshine again. Transmutation is a process of taking something raw and alchemizing it into an entirely new and beautiful thing. In this case, this intense pain becomes my power when I choose to face it feel it and heal from it. I find the lesson from it and then share it.
I hope my experience helps someone out there to know that there is hope on the other side of whatever you are going through. You are more than what you are going through, and the jewels you pull from the fire of your experience are the hope of someone else.
Peace, Love and High Vibrations Family.
To book a private coaching session with Nicola go to: https://www.nhalchemy.com
To download a free video e-course on Pulling Your emotions Out of a Ditch: www.gumroad.com/nicolahurst
To read a work of Pre-Transformed Nicola: “Waiting On God For Your Divine Right Mate”: www.amzn.to/2ubBGkv
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